Group Dynamics

Yesterday Christian had a lousy time during his game session.  Christian and two other gamers in the group were not happy with the way the GM was running things.  Christian tried to solve the problem via email, but nothing changed.  So he voiced his displeasure at the game table...

I don't know how close of a relationship he and his DM had, but in the blog Christian said he considers the GM a friend.  Of course there are friends that hang with and there are friends that you share your life with.  His blog made me consider the dynamics in our group.  It will be the National Enquirer Edition of our group.

Our main group consists of 4 guys.  Dwayne (Gamer's Closet) I've been friends with for 33 years no.  Oh my god, I shouldn't have done the math.  Rob (Bat in the Attic) I've been friends with for 25 years.  And Rusty (formerly of the Rusty Battle Axe) is the newb of the group and I can safely say I've been friends with him for 2 years now.  I give you this background to give a bit of perspective of the longevity of our group.

Rob is our main GM and so he gets most of our abuse.  Because we've gamed for so long together I have no problem telling Rob or Dwayne what I am not liking.  The one example I can give is last campaign Rob ran a handful of canned modules and they got boring.  I told Rob I didn't like them and the fact that we sorta knew them by heart didn't help.  You just don't run White Plume Mountain will old gamers without changing it around.  And here's a very good thing about Rob, he take criticism very well.  He doesn't take it too personal and he'll often ask for suggestions. 

If Dwayne has done something I'm not too fond of I will let him know.  Again, he is good at taking suggestions.  There may be times when arguments occur and they do between Rob and Dwayne, but no matter what, on Monday night we will be sitting around the computer playing a game together.  We've gotten to a point in our lives that we realize how important it is to dedicate a small time of each week to one another.  It is so easy to let gaming slide and before you know a couple of years have past.  I don't schedule anything on Monday nights because to me it belongs to my gaming group. 

The interesting thing is Rusty being our new guy to the group, it feels like he's been there all along.  I don't think he got through the first night before we started making fun of him.  And he got in a few good shots himself.  But I also feel if I didn't like something Rusty was doing I would have no problem telling him.

All this is good and great, but what happens if you run into a situation like Christian where the GM wants to run the game his way despite the players not liking it.  In my group we know each others style and can pretty much guess what to expect.  In his situation if Rob was running a campaign I didn't like I would sit it out.  And I've done that.  Nothing against Rob or the GM, just not my style. 

And the entire group knows they can be honest with me.  I have no problem changing things up if the majority of them are not having fun.  I see it as a challenge not an insult.  I've read this blog through and not sure if I made my point or not.  I guess the important thing it to work it out (no shit, eh?), make the game important because it is. We have our differences and at times when we are not nice, but Monday Nights are sacred.  All disputes are put aside so we can roll some dice. 

Failure is Fun

Christian wrote a great blog a little while ago about The Value of Failure. I always say that it starts with your group. Who you play with and why. You know who in your group will throw a tantrum if the dragon eats their horse or fails a save vs. a fireball and becomes a smoldering pile of ash. It happens and its a game. But we know who can take and who can't. I'm not going to cover convention gaming groups because that is usually a one shot deal and if someone is being a dick you can tell them to sit down shut their yap because you'll probably never see them again.

Our group has through the years seen its share of people who just could not handle failure. It becomes a personal issue and is no longer a game. Oh, the drama. Hopefully you have one person in the group that can smooth out these times. I tend to be that person in our group. Because they are my friends I can tell them to stop being a wank, you had a bad roll your character is dead roll up a better one next time. Hell, I'm on my third.

To me failure is the best part of the game. Recently during a game, my character being an ultra stealthy elf type rolled a '1' during a recon mission. So not only did I slip down the hillside causing a minor avalanche , I landed in the middle of the gigantic orc encampment I was supposed to be 'quietly' observing. Alone. I laughed my ass off as well as the other players. Did I survive? Well kinda sorta, but it doesn't matter because I had fun. The failure made something predictable into something I wasn't expecting. The GM also knows I'll go with anything. Failure is okay with me. If my character gets killed I'm okay with it. Its the dangers of being an adventurer.

Those who take it as a personal insult probably shouldn't be playing the game or playing a different game. You can't be heroic without having to climb out of some pool of crap and surmounting horrible odds. Failures make your characters better...if they survive. If they don't survive hopefully you have a great story about the death. If not, lie. All my character have died heroic deaths in fictional sorta way.

Take a look at the group dynamics and see where your problem areas lie with the players and even the GM. Especially the GM. Cause if he ain't happy he's gonna make sure everyone else ain't either. Players who have problems with failure need to be taught (and I do me taught) that its fine, its fun and its a game to be enjoyed. It takes time, and if you he a friend or relative then its time wells spent. Be patient and lead by example.

Is this where I say, "Thank you, Captain Obvious"?

PS. Added note. Since I am getting Black Ops after work today I am prepared to fail thousands of times and be 'owned'. I do suffer from Turrets Syndrome when I play CoD, but it's all good in the end. :)