That's Not a Centaur and My Back is Sore

The Cast of Players
GM - Rob
Serinvald - mage, Rusty
Oelander - half demon fighter/mage, Dwayne
Ashling - elf, thief/mage, Me

Last night was a bloodbath. It's a good thing we are not playing an alignment based game or we would be in real trouble right about now. It started off with battling a group of evil slaver, cannibal dwarves. Two waves of them. The one thing I am finding is how huge of an advantage it is to have three spellcasters in the group. Each of us has the sleep spell memorized so we don't always have to wait for the right moment to cast it.

After disposing of the mean dwarves we explored the area a little more and found another entrance and explored that. That's when Serinvald shrunk himself down and talked like Stewie from Mad TV. Very funny. ANyways he senses a woman on the other side of the rubble saw a small opening and that's why he shrunk down to see who she was. At first he thought she was a centaur and wanted to help out. When the half woman, half animal revealed herself, Oelander said 'That's not a centaur!' She tried to seduce him and then tried to burn him when he ran away squealing in his tiny voice.

After that we found we were nowhere near the location we wanted to be at. So off we went following the stream to the river. We met up with giant beavers. This is where things started getting ugly. First off Oelander pondered how nice it would be to have a giant beaver pelt. I noticed when we were walking our horses around the beavers were making chittering noises and threatening us with beaver glares. The three of them stood on their damn. Oelander shot at one and missed. I shot at one and killed it. It does get tiresome carrying the group on my shoulders all the time.

Before the big beaver hit the water Serinvald remembers he has a potion of animal friendship and befriends the remaining two. Just as we were getting all warm and fuzzy with our new friends several boats of barbarians came row row rowing down the stream. At first I was thinking about talking to them, but then they drew bows and notched arrows. Fine. I stood up on the beaver damn and let loose my very first fireball. Rob made a noise and said "Oh man that's right, you have 3rd level spells." I wiped out the entire group except one. Oelander tried to kill the leader with a crossbow bolt, but missed again. So I had to finish him off. See what I mean? Always carrying them.

Across the stream we see huts and women and children fleeing. They were terrified by my awesome display of power and decided to run. Serinvald told the giant beavers to stop the barbarians until we could walk the horses across and talk to them. This took about a half hour of going down far enough to place we could cross. This stream was more like a small river. Anyways when we round the bend we see two dead beavers, a few dead children and a couple of women. "Way to go Serinvald." I believe was the chorus of the group.

When we did catch up with the women and children at their camp Oelander got tired of playing second fiddle to my competence and decided to turn invisible and enter the camp. He knocked out two guards before getting stabbed in the back by a child. When I walked into camp they all huddled together in the corner in fear. An appropriate response. Serinvald tried to parlay with them, but talks were getting nowhere. All we wanted to know is the location of the keep on the river. So I charmed one of the women and now she is our guide to the keep on the river and good for at least one back massage. It needs it after carrying these guys.