Friday, June 10, 2011

I'm Not Feeling Too Serious...Shocking

Too much serious crap going on in blog land and I refuse to be apart of it.

     "That my friends is one big ass gelatinous cube, Murry the Elf looked down into the pit where Bill the Uncomely had just taken a header.  Bill kicked his little feet, but his efforts only managed to sink him deeper.  "I got dibs on his Ring of Protection."
     "Lot a good its doing Bill," Ebert the Obvious chimed in.  He grimaced as he watched Bill being slowly digested.
      Terry the Paniced ran around the edge of the pit with his arms over his head.  "OMG, somebody do something."  His voice echoed through the dungeon corridors, hallways, passageways and other synonyms.  "We've got to do something!"  He stopped for a moment and glanced into the pit.  "OMG!"
     Choke the Codpiece shook his head.  "Shut the little fucker up before he attracts every hairy brown eye in the place."  Choke hefted his obscenely large crossbow.  "I got this."  He took aim into the pit, but the angle cause the bolt to fall out of the crossbow and land on top of the cube.  "Son of a...that was a magical bolt"
     "Somebody cast a spell!" Terry screeched.
     Murry smacked Terry as he ran by, "Shuddup will ya.  You're the freaking mage.  You cast a spell."
     Terry whirled on Murry with a +2 stern finger at the ready.  "If you hadn't forgotten the 10' pole we wouldn't be in this mess."
     Murry puffed out his elven chest, "You wanna piece of me?"
     "I think they're going to fight."  Ebert said picking a piece of old bread from his teeth.
     Choke pulled out his gargantuan axe, "Why don't you girls fight later.  Let's get this sorry bastard out of the pit before he gets vomited out.  Even a gelatinous cube has got to have standards."

And that's all I have.  I have to go to work.  Weekend it almost here so have fun or I shall chop you to pieces! 


  1. attracts every hairy brown eye in the place.

    Very funny.

  2. It is, after all, a game...played with dice, etc.

  3. That's sounds disturbingly like most of the games I've DMed.

  4. Brilliant.

    Word Verification: joyfouse

    I hope you and Whisk have a happy joyfouse this weekend.

  5. Sadly, this sounds like many of my group's game sessions.