Saturday, March 20, 2010

The Real Reason Why Mages Hide in Towers

Most think Mages seek isolated towers to hide their magical secrets. There are very few secrets left. Magic is a known thing now. It is no longer what does the other mage have, but more how that mage can use what he has. You have a horde of spells, big fricking whoop, so does every other wandering mage. The look like school girls carrying around tomes too heavy for them to carry. So secret knowledge is not it.

Maybe they to cast dark rituals that would get them strung up, burned and castrated. Maybe, but the good mages also seek the solitude of a giant phallic structure. So though dark rituals may be an answer it is not the top answer.

The top answer is mages don't want to be asked continuous dumb questions. To be slowly picked to death by requests. A mage of great power can be humbled by a peasant who knows nothing of the inner workings of magic.

Simon of the Long Magic Missile has killed three rabid trolls that bashed the village wall into splinters and tore a few villagers into tiny bits for easy chewing. Jack the Farmer approaches Simon and asks, "You dun gud. All the fire and all. How yun spout it out yer hand without the burn? I burn my hand." He raises his left hand and looks at it. Then looks at his right hand and raises that one. "Put me hand right in a pot of boil'n water. Scream I did. Can you make me pig, Myrtle, big. Festival come'n and all."

At this point Simon runs into the forest and impales himself on sticks. If only he had an isolated tower.

Those uneducated in magic thing magic can do anything. That magic has no structure. All you need to do is want it to happen and it can. Jack's reasoning if Simon can blast three trolls to ash why can't he make his pig big or make it rain or make gold fall out his ass. I guess those would be gold nuggets. Though a mage may be able to do some of the requests it wouldn't be enough. The requests would multiply and become more extravagant.

Mages wish isolation too keep their sanity. Evil or good. A horde of needy peasants can bring down the most powerful mage.


  1. So maybe the Dread Heirophant of the Forbodding Spire isn't so much evil as...curmudgeonly?

  2. Here and I thought it was satellite tv. You are definitely on to something with this! Excellent insight.