Tuesday, July 1, 2014

The Session Where My Head Gets Swallowed

...I know, it sounds bad, but let me explain.

Last night the Monday Night group continued their exploration of Monteport.  We were down one member of the party, Luven the Liquid.  His power, to pee at anytime and on anything.  Without our fourth we descended 21 miles into the ground.  Yes, 21 miles.  We made a joke that wouldn't it suck if it was just the longest dead end ever. 

We found a chasm that seemed to have no bottom.  Or top that we could see.  The gnome, Duncan, levitated and in a Canadian national sport kind of way, we 'curled' him to the other side while he held one end of a rope.  Surprisingly it worked.  And more surprisingly we all made it across the chasm.

The room had a purple icky pool in the middle and three not very secret doors made of flesh and had an eyeball.  We needed to make a sacrifice.  Adzeer took out his mace to smash the fleshy door and was knocked back with a bad shock.  Okay, plan B.  Someone threw a mug in and one of the doors opened.... 

We found an acrylic lair of madness.  The creatures (which we were about to meet one of their ilk) are from the plane of madness.  Although I was assuming someone was experimenting on them because they were in vats, preserved and everything was so neat and tidy.  In general the area was empty until we happened on a room with three creatures store in a vat of green liquid.


As the liquid squirted out we were splashed by its greenness, but instead of getting grossed out we got a hit point total raised!  But the creature scrambled out of the vats with inhuman speed. 


We attacked damaging it badly in the first round.  Adzeer unleashed four magic missiles because he was newly dubbed 7th level at the beginning of the session.  It did not last.  The creature attacked me....


What the hell.  But again, something weird happened.  I gained a point in intelligence and 2 in wisdom.  Adzeer was now sporting a 20 wisdom, but the cost...I was level drained!  While the creature was still attached to my head the other killed the creature.  When I was able to free myself, Adzeer was now sporting a new knob in the middle of his forehead. 

After twenty minutes of giggling and various jokes about giving head, knob polishing (you get the idea) we decided not to smash open another vat.  No one else wanted to earn a knob.  Their loss.

We explored the area more.  Found a room with four strange chests that contained four different types of magical keys.  Then we found a room with larger creatures and larger vats.  One of the magical keys we possessed would have unlocked the vats, but no one felt the need to fight a larger version of the knob givers. 

We ended the night the camping near the chasm.  There are two more secret doors to explore.  We didn't find any 'treasure', but Adzeer is thinking this is the true heart of Monteport.  And why it exists at all. 

Our GM Ken, stellar as ever, did an excellent job.  He was able to take the sterile atmosphere and gave it a very creepy feel.  Monteport continues to surprise even after 18 months.  


  1. Our GM Ken, stellar as ever, did an excellent job.

    Hear, hear!

  2. Who knew head swallowing could turn out so well?

  3. Are you using Blood & Treasure for your ruleset?

  4. Twenty one miles underground?

    "All right! Everyone remember where you poop! We don't want to step in it on the way back."

  5. >SNORT<

    Now I need a new keyboard.

  6. Knob is now my new favorite word. I will have to figure out how to use it in an upcoming post title.

  7. "Our GM Ken, stellar as ever, did an excellent job."

    You just want more treasure next time. Suck up.

    1. Thanks for the nice post. I actually had a blast creating that area of the dungeon and then running it.