Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Three Sure Beverages

This blog is brought to you by Random Blog Post Topic Generators from The Rusty Battle Axe.  I rolled and thus the title.  

1. Swamp Bottom Wine
This grog is barely drinkable to outsiders, but to those who live along the vast swamps it is a staple of every meal.  The swamp berries grow in abundance and their fermentation time is short.  Though Swamp Bottom Wine is an acquired taste it is still offered in a wide variety of tavern for a cheaper alternative wine.  The most unscrupulous tavern owners will 'water down' some of their more expensive wines with it.  The alcohol content is slightly higher than a normal wine.  Average price for a bottle is 5cp compared to an average bottle of wine at 50cp.  

2. Goblin Snot
Most people believe the origins of this drink started with the dwarves, but it was actually developed by the nomadic hill barbarian tribes.  Although this drink has has many versions through out the years it still has one thing consistent, it will knock your boots off your feet.  This such a powerful drink that the dwarves have integrated drinking an entire bottle in a single sitting as one of the steps to move onto manhood.  It is highly flammable.  Though it was once a thick green liquid the newer version finds it less repulsive.  Because of the fermentation process, which includes dabbling in the dark magics Goblin Snot is illegal in some areas and most tavern owners are reluctant to carry a barrel of it because of its volatile nature.  Plus the extreme cost.  Goblin Snot is sold in small shot glass doses at 1gp minimum and can be as high as 10gp.  Kegs of Goblin Snot are not sold, but auctioned off to selected merchants.

3. Umber Beer
Also known as Red Beer.  This beer is made in the northern mountain region usually fermented by the faithful of the magic god.  The signature of a good Umber Beer is the amount of flavored sediment or sand floating around.  Some people find the grit to their disliking, but those who enjoy Umber Beer seek more.  It has an average alcohol content, but it is more flavorful and sought after by many higher end taverns.  Umber Beer usually sells for twice to three times as much as an average keg of beer.

Can you really have enough wweird drinnks in a fantasy tavern?  I don't think so.


  1. I want some goblin snot, good beverages though, good imagination.

  2. Despite the name, I have to say I'd love some goblin snot -- anything that's part of a ceremonial move into manhood has got to be good!

  3. Okay, I was going to make some of these at some point, inspired by your post. Weird coincidence with the names though, as "High Letcherous Short" was the first one I got.

  4. What is even more powerful than Swamp Bottom Wine is Swamp Bottom Moonshine, the distilled drink made from Swamp Berries. It is illegal because of its extreme potency and ability to drive those addicted to it mad! Swamp Bottom Moonshine comes in crock jugs and is sold under-the-table. ;)

    Great post... I am a sucker for weird drinks, too.

    If you haven't seen this post of mine, maybe check it out:


    (Elemental Wine)

  5. I'm gonna be a voice of dissent and say I would not like to have goblin snot--but good post, nonetheless. ;)