Sunday, April 8, 2012

Easter Bunny Convict Tale

This story is completely true.  Except for the parts I made up.

Several years ago some where in the late 80s I was strolling through our local mall.  It was a week or so before Easter and the mall had a place where kids could sit on the Easter Bunny's lap.  Not sure why you would want to do this, but maybe they could give the bunny tips on what to put in the basket.  Anyway, it was a slow time and I walked by where the Easter Bunny was sitting and I heard.

"Hey Tim.  How's it going?"

I looked around and it's just me and the bunny.  It was a guy' voice.  One that smoked a lot.  I was completely baffled that the bunny knew my name.  "Good, I guess."

"It's me, Bob."

I have no idea why, but that was enough and knew it was a guy I knew from school.  "Wow, nice pink suit."

"Yeah, I had to get a job.  My probation officer said take the job or sit in the cell."

"You might want to reconsider your decision."

"Tell me about it."  He said and itched under his giant pink bunny head.  "It's so fucking hot in this thing."

"Take it off and take a breather."

Bob shook his bunny head.  "Can't.  Freaks out the kids."

I can't remember what happened after, but it doesn't really matter.  How many times have you met an Easter Bunny that knew your name, had a smoker's cough, swore and was on probation.  I love the holidays.

Now that Easter is over the bunny can get back to what it does best.