Friday, April 13, 2012

Village of Lost Artifacts and Non-Scary Places

The Smoldering Ruins of Eptoch is over that hill.  Since it is the ever smoldering ruins its easy to find.  With the smoldering and all.  Yeah, lots of cool stories about what happened there.  An uprising of demons or vampires or handmaidens, I'm not sure I get mixed up, but nothing much going on there now.  Once a month some young bard comes along and wants to see it.  I try to tell them it's just smoldering and they get all puffy and want to sees it anyway.  Pays for me bar tab.  Most of the time.

Yep.  That's the Standing Stone of Infinity so they say.  Some religious relic.  Some of the priests come through here all googly-eyes like they were staring as Sherri at the tavern.  Now she is a holy relic.  Anyway, they claim it's a piece of a piece of some god stone that will reveal the secrets of the universe.  Well if its a piece of the piece then its broke.  No secret there.  If it was an artifact it shouldn't break.  And why would they stick a chunk of it in that field?  I guess it they are the creators of the universe and they broke their stone and put a piece in that field that might explain why everything is so ass backwards.

Now if you look toward the west you'll find the Doom Swamp.  Scary sounding eh.  Doom and all.  But some good berry bushes grow on the edge that make good wine.  Henry at the tavern makes a good batch every so often.  Hmm?  Oh yeah, there are monsters in there, but we don't feed them.  We trap along the edges and catch some bigguns, but most of the time they just ruin the traps.  Then I have to go to Kurn, he's our smith, and get it fixed.  Man's got no teeth and thinks Sherri is in love with him.  Been sniffing those forge fumes too long.

I'd tell you about that colossus statue in the middle of the village, but don't know much about it yet.  Although I can tell you if you walk under it, that statue has got all the parts.  Ha.  Yeah the ladies got a kick out of that one.  Nah, ain't moved at all, but only been here a few days.  We had one statue get up and run.  Made a racket.  Ran into the Doom Swamp and sank.  You can still see the top of its head a hundred strides in.

I'd suggest staying away from The River Valley of Death.  The fishing is fantastic there, but there's lots of flooding going on now.  I can tell you the rest over at the tavern.  Sherri's working and Henry said today his swamp berry wine would be ready.