Thursday, August 19, 2010

Top 5 Gamer Snacks

That's right, when you got nothing to write about make a top 5 or a top 10 list. After three decades of gaming I have tested these over and over again to make sure only the best snacks of ALL-TIME made this list. Prepare to be underwhelmed.

1. Pizza (any): Is there any doubt what would be number one. Pizza, the food of gods and devils and of kings and peasants, comes in just as many varieties as gamers do. If all else fails extra cheese and pepperoni. Can't go wrong. Be warned, it has been proven that pizza stains can last for 25 years.

2. Cheetos (the original, none of those damn puffed or 'healthy' crappy ones): At number two these little sticks of orangeness have marked their territory anywhere they have been ingested. One of my favorite combos with an ice cold can of Coke.

3. Doritos (any): By far these are the smelliest of snacks on the list. Be it cool ranch, nacho, butt munch or toe cheese flavor they all smell a lot. The only way to beat them is to join them. Don't plan any dates afterwards unless you brought a whole tube of toothpaste and an SOS pad.

4. Popcorn: There is some debate with this selection. I had trouble choosing this one, but after some thought I knew it needed to be included. Popcorn rocks. With butter, forgedabotit. The problem is some, and unfortunately a high percentage of gamers have questionable hygiene practices. You know it. I know it. The world around us knows it. So those who believe washing hands after bathroom visits is an option, those who decide mining for gold isn't just for dwarves, do you really want them stick their hand into the same bowl you're eating from? The easy solution would be having separate bowls, but that is hardly an option since gamers are experts at minimizing dishes. So grab a sheet of notebook paper and pile a nice helping onto it. No grubby fingers in your stash.

5. The fifth one is tough. I was going to mention fast food. McDonalds, Burger King or god forbid Taco Bell, but being a generous soul and one who needs to go to work in a few minutes I'll leave this one blank for others to fill in since my first four selections are iron clad. So what was your favorite snack and the pros and cons of such a thing?

On a side note, sometimes what can make gaming a little more fun, especially if you're the host is to put out things just to see if the others will eat them. I know I've experimented with this. My intent was not to poison my fellow gamers especially since it would have been my bathroom they would have used, but just to see what these iron stomach gamers would consume.

I believe the most infamous incident was the Day of the Green Cheetos. You read me right. They turned green and not in a good Dr. Seuss way. These bad boys had a genetic failure. I put a bowl of them in the middle, called them Frankenstein Fingers and they were gone before the first round of combat of completed. No one got sick. No one complained of a strange flavor. They just rolled dice and drank too much pop (or soda to all you others out there).


  1. it has been proven that pizza stains can last for 25 years.


    4. Popcorn:

    Remember the innovation that was...

    microwavable popcorn

    we were on that in a heartbeat

  2. Maybe duplicative of #1, but the pre-teen set I GM for really goes for pizza rolls. Also pretzles.

  3. @David> Oh that is good!

    @Rob> There were no microwaves when we started gaming. No VCRs, no CDs and television went off at midnight on weekdays and 2am on weekends.

    @Rob L> Pizza rolls, hmm. I think I would want the real thing. But who knows if I can throw more pepperoni and cheese then I will roll with it.

  4. I have to disagree with popcorn. Not only does it get everywhere, all over character sheets and books and your nice table, but also those little corn shards get stuck in your gums, leaving you to stab yourself with a toothpick for half an hour.

    Instead of popcorn, I'd probably bump the burgers up and in the last place slot put Chex Mix. Everybody likes at least one flavor, and the "dust" is colorless and easy to wipe off.

  5. Popcorn, really?

    We tend to eat dinner at the beginning of the session these days (we play on a weeknight) it's usually some form of takeout, usually subs.

    My regular group inhales cookies and cake. Candy seems the third most popular, then again we all have filled up with dinner.

    @Tim, microwaves were on the consumer market since the 50's. 60% of U.S. homes had one by 1976. Were you playing with knuckle-bones and carved ivory figurines ;-)

  6. @N Wright> It hard to argue against you since you brought red meat into the mix. I will relent and allow burgers to trump popcorn.

    JD> Where I live I never saw one until the early 80s I think. Never heard of one much before that. But we played with pennies and only 6 siders back then. That's almost medival.

  7. Oh come on... Pizza? Pizza is so overrated. whip up a good tri-tip or Chicken penne pasta, and I'm there. And did you mention alcohol?

  8. Hostess Pudding Pies were a staple at our table for a few years. Each one diabetes in a wrapper.

    Ring dings and yodels were also a staple.

  9. Charisma Keller> Chicken penne pasta? That sounds like 4th edition food.

    Alcohol, since I am not and never have been a drinker I never partook in the amber nectar. Even the gaming groups (which have been few) never drank when we gamed.

  10. Joseph> Oh man those do sound good.

  11. Thou shalt not eat cheetoes without chopsticks..never again shall all gaming material be orange.

  12. We dont ever have snacks these days, but we do tend to structure our game time around a meal, and always have pizza.

  13. Little Debbie treats have always cost less than Hostess, gaining Mom approval...