Thursday, August 23, 2012

Clubb'n Lunitics : Boris Finds a Hobby

Storm outside.  Rich people inside.  Homicidal maniac somewhere.  Boris in the hallway on chair waiting for screaming to begin.  Rich lady say she want to go to library.  Can't sleep.  Boris go with despite rich lady protest.  Once Boris explain homicidal maniac on loose, rich lady more agreeable.

Lawyer man comes into library and asks to speak with rich lady.  Lawyer man paying bills so Boris step outside, but knows only bad things happen when Boris not around.  Rich lady scream.  Boris rush in, find rich lady looking at bookshelf, "He was just right there."  Boris look, but can't find shit.  Don and Erskin in house somewhere.  Boris put two bullets into a book too big for its own good.

Don find latch.  Weird secret passage.  Erskin finds body of lawyer man.  Boris should never leave room, only bad happens.  Weird wiggly tunnel is closed at other end.  Boris goes in.  Lawyer man was strangled.  Has open envelope in his pocket.  Hmm.  Push on other end of tunnel and opens to master bedroom where rich lady stay.  Take lawyer man downstairs.  Other rich people see Boris.  They want to call police.  Ha.  Like police do anything.  One man think Boris kill lawyer man.  No holes in him.  Boris innocent.

Now everyone in the library.  Boris babysit all the rich folk in one room while Don and Erskin search mansion.  Rich people don't like Boris.  Boris is indifferent.  When a shotgun blast tears open chest they bleed just as much as whiskey breathed bum in alley.  Boris like shotgun.  Indifferent.  Result same.

After sometime Don and Erskin return.  Boris might have napped because the constant whine from rich people make sleepy.  They think they know who bad guy is.  Boris suggest play good man, club you in the head man.  Don play good, Boris play club.

Don tries to talk to man, but does no good.  He too smooth.  Liquid words roll off tongue and fall on floor.  Boris turn.  Considers crowbar.  Instead tell the man he too good for such thing.  Punch him the stomach.  He take punch okay.  Boris little happy he no cry.  Help man up by hair.  Ask him other question.  Don't like answer.  Hmm, bang his head of counter to see if words just stuck in head. 

Don come in with hands on head.  "What did you do?"  I say I play club man.  Clubbed him.  You bad at this if you no know how to play.  Noise from upstairs or in basement.  No of us there.  Lunatic is on loose.

Rejoin everyone in library.  Boris feel something bad happen.  After some slippery talk from Don and Erskin, we find man possessed.  Then maniac appears in the door.  Boris been waiting for him.  Introduce him to Ivanka.  Only shred his side.  Take crowbar and go after.  Little maniac man very tough.  Attack Boris despite Ivanka's hello.  Respect much for this crazy little man.  Boris step aside attack, club him in the other side then pin him to the floor with boot.

Erskin and Don have possessed man pinned to ground.  Take him downstairs to basement.  Some scary room with magic equipment.  Boris know this bad.  Very bad.  Erskin and Don find wiggly passage and connect with spirit world.  Convince spirits to take the spirit possessing man to where it belongs.  Ugly spirit.  Like a hundred legged spider.  Boris would have liked to have shot it.  Never shot big spider before.  Man okay.

Layer man only dead, but Boris still get paid.  Team Victory have won.  Boris have idea.  Take lunatic man and call paper.  Get publicity, like Heyward, for Team Victory.  Tell people we good team to hire.  Get job done.  Boris may even smile for camera.


  1. Good stuff. Boris remains the literate soul of Team Victory. ;)

  2. Good for Boris! Everyone needs a hobby!