Monday, March 4, 2013

Skeletons in the Crapper

Tonight we played in Ken's mega-dungeon campaign.  Rob GMs for three Mondays and Ken does it the off Monday.  It gives Rob a break and allows Ken to flex his GM muscles.

Adzeer Mattui, Monster Hunter, and his band of thieves (no seriously everyone else is some form of thief) delved farther into the dungeon.

But first we smeared goo into the face of a comatose woman.  I would explain why we did, but it won't help.  It was as bad as it sounds.

Onward to battle.  Two orcs.  Fairly confused.  I walked into the room and proclaimed, "Come embrace Death."  They looked at each other and asked, "Who's there?"  "I'm death.  Come hug me."

Orcian butts were kicked and the glory of Adzeer raised ever higher.  Next were a nest of rats.  Not much of a challenge since they were put to sleep.  I clonked them.  And then it happened.

We fought two skeletons in a crapper.  I missed 92 times in a row.  I nearly tossed my mace into the pooper hole.  In the end I stood victorious, but I felt unwashed.  One was trapped in a net for the fight and it ended up killing itself by smashing its arm against the wall. 

In our final room of the night we found a chest.  Before it was opened we were attacked by a horde of four zombie gnomes.  I use my almighty power and sent them running.  "Run you undead bastards before the power of Adzeer.  Run and never return."

They returned.  Luckily one of the thieves threw down a layer of caltrops.  Two of them died on the pointy jacks.  One was killed by the thieves trickery and I sent mine to the next afterlife in a purification liquidation explosion with my mace.

There was nothing more to do this night.  Our enemies at our feet.  Their treasure in our pockets.  And I still have not learned the names of my fellow party members. 


  1. Disrespected by skeletons? What's this world coming to?

  2. "I'm death. Come hug me."

    That'd be a good line for a GM to use with a new group of players, mwahahahah.

  3. But first we smeared goo into the face of a comatose woman. I would explain why we did, but it won't help. It was as bad as it sounds.

    Some of the best moments of the campaign are those "Don't ask" or "We shall never speak of this again" moments.

    My group has one from over a decade ago that STILL comes up in in-game (meta-conversations and otherwise) wherein our Chaotic Good ranger decided to interrogate a stable boy...and used his dire wolf companion as an "intimidation" factor. Instead of answering his questions, the stable boy wet himself and collapsed into a quivering heap of fear. Nearly caused an alignment check it was so bad.

  4. Tim, I wasn't sure if you'd be playing after the hidden sentence in the "Dungeon Deck Kickstarter" blog post was discovered. I was thinking that you would be sporting a body cast.